Welcome to the blog

I was going to journal but then I decided, you know what? No. I’ve been wanting to start this blog for a while now, there’s no time like the present.

I’m currently sitting on a pool chair, staring out at this ridiculously nice pool/hot tub/rockscape situation at my boyfriend’s grandma’s Palm Springs house.

Palm trees line my view, blowing in these strong Santa Ana winds.

Some Southern California desert mountain range complete this pristine backdrop.

I feel incredibly lucky to be here.

And I’m here alone.

My boyfriend, Tom, hasn’t arrived yet. I came early to get the place set up, and as the person with the most flexible schedule, to skip the traffic and get a little more Palm Springs time in this weekend.

I’ve needed this.

It is so peaceful to be in this manufactured nature. I know it shouldn’t be green in the desert. I know there shouldn’t be million-dollar mansions lining every street. I know this isn’t my land.

And yet, when I allow myself to not feel guilty for this privilege, I actually enjoy myself. 

It’s quiet out here. 

All I can hear is the waterfall that goes from the hot tub to the pool. The occasional plane flying into the Palm Springs Airport. Ravens and crows squawking at each other. And, when the wind picks up, the rustle of the palm trees. 

It’s nice to feel open. 

To feel free.

To feel calm.

It’s nice to see nature right out of your back windows.

I feel it in my body, in my heart.

I feel myself opening like a flower. It’s the feeling I get when I’m in my soul completely. It’s a feeling that tells me, I’m good, I’ve got myself, I’m here.

It happens mostly when I’m the most present. It makes me smile to myself.

I can’t remember when I felt this confident, calm and sure of myself.

xoxo